Without You

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Last year was our first Christmas without our son. I remember dreading it, feeling really excluded and wanting it just to stop. There’s an assumption that it’s such a happy time but for many people it’s a sad, lonely and isolating time . We didn’t know what to do.

It felt like it was everywhere and there was no escape. At first we thought we ought to try to be part of it, but then our daughter said WHY ? . So we didn’t   do it. We went to the cemetery ( I was surprised how many people were there) We lit a candle for Anthony and we had a very quiet reflective day just being together , we talked about him – which we hadn’t really done much before, because we didn’t want to upset each other. Without other people trying to jolly us along we were able to ‘be in our grief ‘if that makes sense.We did a lot of reminiscing and crying too. We survived . I think it’s about just doing what you feel you want to do.

Thinking of everyone who is facing a first Christmas without their loved one

Anne and family

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