In these times where there is so much uncertainty and people are already isolated from loved ones family and friends.Death of a loved one, whether because of the corona virus or as a result of illness,or other event can leave the bereaved feeling even more isolated – if that ‘s possible. Please don’t feel you have to go through your grief alone, please use the information on this site and get in touch with supporting agencies on line or write to me.
Its heart breaking ,that for those whose family member has died in hospital as a result of the virus there isn’t the opportunity to say a personal goodbye and for some to attend the funeral. Whilst these are just words I hope that they might be of some small comfort to you. If you are in these circumstances here are some ideas that might be useful.
Speak to the funeral director, media may be suggesting/ reporting some things but your funeral director will be able to guide you and let you know the facts with regard to your loved one and their funeral. If you are isolated ,you could also ask them – in your absence to photograph / record the funeral or to film it live for you so that you can participate from your place of isolation.
Write a letter to your loved one and ask the funeral director to ensure that this is placed beside them . Keep a vigil at home – create a place that you can be quiet in and dedicate to your loved ones memory. Journal your feelings – writing can be really helpful.Talk if you are alone or in isolation keep in touch with family and friends and talk about everything that you are going through, this can help you to make sense of this shocking event. Don’t try to do too much or be too brave, let yourself grieve and share your grief with others.
Children are huge multitaskers, they have the ability to listen in even whilst they appear to be absorbed in other things . They are like sponges and can be protective of adults keeping information they have gained from other sources to themselves and adding their own bits to it, this can lead to them getting a totally misinformed picture of the reality. Check in with your children , ask them what they know , what they think and what they feel . Listen and respond to them in an age appropriate way but always be mindful that they may know more than they are sharing. Give children space to dip in and out they have the ability to be completely ‘in’ and by the time you get to the same place they have moved on. Be available to listen and be as honest as you can – There’s more information for children and bereavement on this site and in the free e book.
I am available by email to firstname.lastname@example.org if you need a place to offload in confidence please use the header Frontline Support