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[Perry]

Mum hasn't got long to live I have started to grieve even though she's still here.

I like time to myself where I go running or strolls along riversides but I cant release my emotions and cry even though it hurts.

[JillB]

Although Perry posted this some time ago I think that his experience is not uncommon amongst people who know someone they love has not long to live.
In my work I often find myself dealing with folk who have have been 'expecting' the death. When death finally arrives they often find that they have no or little grieving left to do, They often appear composed and whilst not devoid of emotion, tears may be rare. Many of them tell me how fortunate they have been to be able to prepare for the death and to attend to all the practcal things such as wills; funeral wishes and such - but they will often tell me of close friends or relatives who have been able to visit prior to the death. I have seen siblings united because a parent is dying; I have seen adult children who have finally 'buried the hatchet' and come home.

From a personal point of view I was able to spend time with my mother in the months before her death. When she died I felt quite peaceful, and almost guily because I couldn't cry for her.mind you, I cried almost every time I left the nursing home after a visit!

All I can say, is if you are in this situation, treasure every day, and if possible talk about as much as you are able because one day it will be too late to ask about how Uncle Gilbert was shot down in the war!!!!