Today children can access almost any information on any subject .Their inbuilt natural curiosity coupled with the constant availability and accessibility of social media makes them vulnerable and at times open to aspects of our world that, as parents, carers, and guiding professionals we cannot always guide and protect them from.
Children have always had the ability to multitask, whilst watching TV, playing games, or being apparently occupied, they, like huge sponges, can absorb far more than we may be aware. This is why its important for us to remain curious with them, to ask questions about their views on things, and to be more aware of what they know, and more importantly, how they are ‘making sense’ interpreting what they are hearing.
They are capable of filling in gaps where explanations are missing, of believing they need to protect those they love from things that they may find scary, and of finding their own solutions to unanswered questions.
They are vulnerable, and in our current world, where there are elements of instability, inequality, tragedy, fear and negativity, they can easily become targets. It is vital that we not only talk in an age appropriate way but that we listen, that we work at seeing things how they are seeing them, and that we create in-roads, so that they feel able to ask questions that may feel awkward or ‘wrong’ to ask, so that we can guide them and give them some supportive caring, boundaried space in which they can be informed and protected as far as we are able. The following pages are updated pages that I have previously added for you to read and hopefully find useful. .
Talking To Children About Traumatic Events.
With today’s social media and ability to report live news as it happens to our TV screens, Mobiles and PCs it can be extremely difficult to prevent children from being exposed to scenes that can be traumatic, disturbing and scary. So what can we say to our children to help them to understand without causing them further distress? Here are some ideas that we hope you’ll find helpful.
1 When children ask questions. Answer as honestly as you are able to, keep your language simple and age appropriate.
2 Find out what they know, what they think, what they are feeling.
3 Listen and explore their questions, offering realistic assurance.
4 Remember, most of the time things are 0K – these things don’t happen all the time.
5 Most people are kind and help each other.
6 Ways you can show you care. Make cards, draw pictures, light candles.
7 Talk about things you can do to keep safe.
8 Reassure of your protection, love, and of their own resilience.
9 Remember, children don’t know everything. You can change their interpretations of events.
10 Spend time together doing ‘normal‘ things – keep routines and find opportunities to show that good things are still happening.
There are lots of agencies that offer support if you would like support or would like to share your ideas with us please contact us at alexjames@bereavement.co.uk